Announcement by President Alberto Fernandez from Olivos
Many times we try to hold conversations in the wrong state of mind, either very upset or very tired, with thousands of distractions in the room, turning over an idea in our mind, etc.
To listen properly we should always wait until the other person has finished his turn and give our point of view only then, for several reasons, among them the fact that attending to the whole message of the other person will help us to understand his position and to elaborate better arguments to contribute and, on the other hand, because we get the other person to feel listened to, avoiding that he adopts a defensive posture.
Sometimes we do not realize how important these details are, but they are essential for proper communication. Maintaining eye contact when speaking or listening conveys the message that we are devoting our full attention to the conversation and that we are interested in the subject at hand.
Most of us think we are right when having a conversation or discussion. So much so that we don’t even analyze the other person’s point of view or stop to check how much reason there is in their opinion.
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“Before, people were more afraid, they were always whispering (…) And one was always there just whispering, but now with the students… they have sort of taken that power thing, to say no, it’s enough now!”
Beyond noting the emergence of relatively collective feelings such as those indicated, these subjectivities had been less analyzed or were little evident and even ignored before the social outburst of 18/O. This column is focused precisely on studying the expression and perception of collective emotions such as those indicated after the October outburst, seeking to understand their social effects. Considering that the crisis and violence unleashed intense emotions, we address the following questions: What do these collective feelings refer to and what do they consist of? How have different groups experienced them? Where are these feelings heading in our society?
The older people in the group were confronted with arguments that astonish them, such as “really, man, if we didn’t do this, if we didn’t start breaking the windows, nobody would listen to us”. They also discuss the causes of the young man’s anger: he has known the reality of other people who have more opportunities to have what the young man also wants, an accumulated anger for education and for his family’s economic difficulties, anger towards the government or more generally “for everything that is happening” and especially since 18/O “angry about what he sees the carabineros doing”.
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While it may seem difficult to process this development, it is important to act immediately. Whether the bullying is physical or verbal, if not stopped, it can lead to more aggressive antisocial behavior and interfere with your child’s success in school and his or her ability to form and sustain friendships.
It is important to monitor your own behavior as well. Watch how you talk to your children and how you react to their strong emotions when they are around. There will be situations that require discipline and constructive criticism. But don’t let it escalate into name-calling and accusations. If you are unhappy with your child’s behavior, emphasize that this is what your child needs to change and that you are confident he or she can do it.
If your family is going through a stressful event that you believe may have contributed to your child’s behavior, ask for help from appropriate resources in the school and community. Counselors, pastors, therapists, and your doctor may be able to help.
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By: Ashaunta Anderson, MD, MPH, MSHS, FAAP and Jacqueline Dougé, MD, MPH, FAAP.Given the tragic and racist events we have seen recently, many parents are grappling with their own feelings, the hopes they have for their children, and the difficulty in helping them to
Ashaunta Anderson, MD, MPH, MSHS, FAAP, is an assistant professor at Riverside School of Medicine, University of California, and a health policy researcher for the RAND Corporation. Her research focuses on the influence of race and racism on child health. She is also a pediatrician and has published the book
The information contained on this website should not be used as a substitute for the medical advice and care of your pediatrician. There may be many variations in the treatment your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.